Why are people afraid of peace?

[ncjohn]

This is the link to a new thread I posted at CAF today if anyone is interested.

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=2051586#post2051586

John

 

[Julie]

< Make me a channel of your peace maybe the implication that we have to look outside of ourselves to find it ; is scarey?
it entails trust.?

[reen]

quote: Julie
...it entails trust.?

Hi, Julie.

I suppose it does entail trusting. If for no other reason than we need God's help
to be a servant of His peace.

For where else would come the needed patience that is required to bring a sense of peace to another?
Such patience sure isn't going to come from me - without divine help. Belief that His help will come requires trust.

And, somehow, 'servant of His peace' is allied with good stewardship, I think.
[Carole, thanks for introducing the reality of stewardship a while back.]

Stewardship of time and energy renders it possible, that we might be a servant of His peace.

At least I think so.

 

reen

[ncjohn]

Trust is certainly part of it, I  think.

I think another part is that being truly at peace requires relinquishing control. Even there the trust aspect comes in though in that it requires trust that giving up control will lead to something better than we can create ourselves.

And that of course gets us back to Reen's point that the trust can only come from God, and it is really only in believing that God has something better for us that we can get to that point.

John

BTW, thank you Julie for bringing this back up. When I linked into the CAF thread I saw posts at the end that I had never read. It was interesting to see the exchange that took place there at the time and to see what my thinking was.

[Alan]

When I was young, a psychologist told my mother that kids those days generally didn't tolerate silence well.  They would have to have a radio going or something.  He said they weren't comfortable with themselves to the point where they felt comfortable without such outside stimulus.

If that's true, then a lot of people in my generation must have built up a resistance to anything that could diminish the effect of intellectual stimuli, which could lead to rest in God.

But now it isn't just audio, but visual, intellectual, tactile ... any of the above.  Kids don't need a radio on, necessarily, as long as they are on a chat on the computer.  So it isn't just the sound, but the stimulus that seems to be constantly available, if not compelling.

Why?  I don't know.
-----------------------------------------------
Another aspect I see here is the peace that can accompany activities.  In the thread, John said he had been given a taste of the Lord through contemplative practices.  I was pleased to read that, especially since it was three years ago.  I have felt that I have tasted peace even in the midst of conflict, and that's what I'm here to tell you about today.  Things that annoy me about certain people, especially certain people who are close to me, don't hardly do it anymore -- unless it infringes on me somehow.  For example, if two kids are arguing I find it unfortunate.  I consider whether I need to intervene, but all the while I feel perfectly at peace.

To try to describe this, I appeal to our parental experiences.  Ever since I've had children of my own, a typically semi-bratty kid at the next table in a restaurant doesn't bother me one iota.  If they are extremely loud or spit food at me or something, then it might bother me.  Meanwhile, the parents are very anxious about it and are doing lots of ineffective attempts at placating, scolding, threatening or bribing, whatever ... to shut the kid up.  I sit there, enjoying my meal, but pitying the parents.

In a similar way, consider the possibility that I am one of the parents with the kid getting loud in a restaurant.  I will try to correct the situation and/or take the kid outside if necessary -- either for a "talking to" or simply to leave the place in extreme situation.  Now, consider it possible to do all that with no particular anxiety.  Focused intensity, perhaps, but no actual anxiety, anger, anything that knots up our insides.  Any time people are doing high performance activities -- flying airplanes, walking tightrope, etc. they can't let their environment disturb their activity so they are somehow in control of how they respond to external stimuli.  Maybe a jerk in the crowd yells something when you are on the tightrope, but you can't let that comment affect your ability to focus.

It's about trust, and it's about being able to let go.  Let go of judgment of a situation -- as "good" or "bad" -- in preference for a system that defines what your role is and what your actions need to be, dispassionate to the extent it is all about performance and not feelings.

I'm guessing that grandparents might have some advantage over parents, in that they can see and work to rectify a situation with their grandkids without getting all angry and flustered.

Anyway, this is just an example.  I'm not here to talk about parenting in this thread, but about the peace that can be inside even during a conflict.

I wonder what kind of peace Christ felt in His heart even while on the cross?  What sort of peace did he have right up until the end?  "I leave you my peace, I peace I give you." He died to give us His peace.      Luke 23:46 -> Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit"; and when he had said this he breathed his last.

Yes.

Letting go.

Trusting.

All of the above.  Thank you John, Julie, Reen; I like this thread.

Alan

[jsiegman]

John.

As I just commented in the other active thread here, some people will argue about anything just to be arguing. It gives them something to do and makes them feel important. Those folks will never agree to anything and may never accept peace and harmony.

In a way, it is very much like the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

In this case, it would state, "You can offer a person peace but you can't make them accept it."

The only thing left for you to decide is whether or not you continue to offer them peace.

JKS

[Lana]

Leave it to our James to find the bare facts, and simplify harmony!

Good job. BTW, i did not read it all, but them facts were direct!

Lana

[ncjohn]

John.

As I just commented in the other active thread here, some people will argue about anything just to be arguing. It gives them something to do and makes them feel important. Those folks will never agree to anything and may never accept peace and harmony.

In a way, it is very much like the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."

In this case, it would state, "You can offer a person peace but you can't make them accept it."

The only thing left for you to decide is whether or not you continue to offer them peace.

JKS

Good observation James.

When Jesus sen the disciples out he instructed them to go into a town or a house and offer their peace. If the people accepted their peace they were to stay there. If not, their peace would return to them and they were to "shake the dust from their sandals" against those that would not accept peace. Jesus went on to further state that it would be better for places like Sodom and Gomorrah in the end than for those who would not accept the peace God offered.

I sense that at times having a sense of peace can actually provoke anger in those who are not at peace out of a sense of envy, or maybe a feeling that you are getting treated better than they are that they don't have that sense.

John

[Alan]

I sense that at times having a sense of peace can actually provoke anger in those who are not at peace out of a sense of envy, or maybe a feeling that you are getting treated better than they are that they don't have that sense.

The first and only time I shouted at another person at work, was when I worked as an engineer at Boeing.  He was bothered because I wasn't nervous enough about an upcoming trip.  The trip was to do some testing in Huntsville Alabama, of some equipment for which I was the resident expert.

I knew the equipment inside and out, designed part of it myself and wrote much of the software that not only operated the equipment, but did automatic diagnosis and told technicians exactly what drawing to look at and what part was broken.  So I had even taught a machine to know the equipment.  I'd had experience at the place we were going in Huntsville, knew the people and the equipment there, and everything.  There was no problem.

I was completely at peace with the entire operation.  Everything was ready; I already had packed all the drawings and notes we would need. 

This "older" guy (I was in my 20s) from the group going with me kept pestering me about whether everything is being done to get ready for the trip.  I would calmly tell him there is nothing to worry about; I'm ready.  Every day it got worse, until I finally had to escalate it by telling him I would not work with him and that he should talk to my boss if he needs anything from me.  He kept bugging me even then, until I blew up. 

He was afraid that my peace meant indifference or incompetence or something other than just plain confidence. 

The guy was a fascinating guy, but we had to go through all that first.     

Alan

[jsiegman]

I sense that at times having a sense of peace can actually provoke anger in those who are not at peace out of a sense of envy, or maybe a feeling that you are getting treated better than they are that they don't have that sense.

Oh, how true that is. My favorite application of this is when some impatient idiot who is stuck behind you in traffic doesn't like the calm and relaxed maner in which you are driving. He will cut as many people off as needed to pass you. as he goes by he honks his horn to get your attention so that you can watch him cuss you out and use international sign language to send you a message. In this case I just love to smile and wave back at him. Nothing else infuriates him more than that. And nothing else is so satisfying to me.

JKS

[Lana]

Oooo...THAT is a good one...i soooo have to try that one!

Lana

[ncjohn]

In this case I just love to smile and wave back at him. Nothing else infuriates him more than that. And nothing else is so satisfying to me.

JKS

I too love to do that, even if his impatience behind me might occasionally have me muttering under my breath.